Quick quote...

I saw this last week and it was very convicting:

"Worry is not believing God will make the right decision. Bitterness is believing God made the wrong decision."

Gossip about Pastors

I read a very sad post today.  It was about ten ways church members let down their Pastor.  It's so common to talk about all the ways Pastor's let down their church members, but this was the first time in my two decades of serving the church that I can remember reading an article like this.  It was incredibly sad and so true. One of the points that hit me the hardest was this one:  

5. Church members fail their ministers when they are quick to believe the worst about them.

(Sorry...can't turn the "bold" off on these next few paragraphs for some reason...)

The article gave examples of churches who believed rumors and gossip about their pastor that turned out to be untrue, but did terrible damage to their lives.  

I can't even begin to express the pain that comes when people do this and they do it all the time.  Every Pastor of every church knows what this one feels like.  The gossip spread about me over the years by "friends" has hurt me deeper than anything else.  

One of the things we teach for all Christians is to learn to "believe the best about people."  You just don't know what's true, what happened and what the rest of the story is.  So many times, I've been confronted by angry church members ready for a "lynching" because they KNEW what I had done...until I told them all that they didn't know.  Sometimes, they are Christian enough to apologize and change their behavior.  Many times, they just sulk away, still upset.  Sometimes they refuse to believe no matter what.  All the evidence and witnesses in the world won't change them. Their mind is made up.

The Bible warns us in Proverbs that the first to speak sounds convincing...until the next person speaks up.  The point is don't believe the first thing you hear.  Remember that you DON'T KNOW what really happened.  You only know what this gossip has told you and they are filtering it through their biases. 

I'm in a very good season of ministry right now and I'm unaware of any destructive gossip being spread about me at the moment.  However, I've done this job long enough to know that it's just a matter of time before it happens again.  Somebody will get mad and will use their anger destructively.  No matter what church you attend, one of the best ways you can honor your Pastor is to believe the best about him and not the worst.

 

Come and die

As a staff, we've been talking a lot lately about how to help people grow and become mature.  We love the 4 levels of maturity that the "Reveal" study from Willow Creek has revealed.  I will blog about that at some point, but we find it helpful because it makes us think about where people are in their spiritual journey and how we can help them take a step closer to Jesus.

Then, last week, I came across a video clip from Rick Warren.  One of the fascinating things he said was that Jesus started out with the message of "Come and See" when calling disciples.  It wasn't until much later that He raised the bar by telling them to "Come and die".  (If anyone will not take up their cross...)

I recently read about a missions agency in Asia that has a recruitment questionnaire for people who are considering joining their organization:

Are you willing to leave home and lose the blessing of your father?
Are you willing to lose your job?
Are you willing to go to the village and those who persecute you, forgive them, and share the love of Christ with them?
Are you willing to give an offering to the Lord?
Are you willing to be beaten rather than deny your faith?
Are you willing to go to prison?
Are you willing to die for Jesus?

Whoa...now that's serious "Come and die" living.  

Your self-worth

This is a quote from Ken Blanchard's book, "The Servant Leader"...

In Robert S. McGee's The Search for Significance, we learn that if the devil had a formula for self-worth that he would want you to buy into, it would be:  Your self-worth is equal to your performance plus the opinion of others.  

Wow!  I had to stop reading when I read that sentence.  How many people do I know who think their worth is found in those two places...what they've done and what others think.   Consequently?  They live with shame when they fail or disappoint others.  They think they really aren't worth being loved because they couldn't accomplish their goals.

Psalm 118:8 says "It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man."

In other words, change what you root your self-worth in.  I am worthwhile and worthy of being loved, not because I perform or people like me, but because the God of the Universe says I am worthy of being loved just as I am.  What an amazing change that self-talk would bring to so many people.

Where are you looking for your sense of self-worth?

Sorry for the delay in blogging.  Things have been a little crazy around here lately:

*My 16 year old daughter is trying for her license.  This will make five driver's in the family.
*We hired a new worship/youth leader and they arrive on April 3.
*We are hiring for our Platteville site.
*Our Richland Center site has been attempting to get into a building
*I did a marriage seminar at a camp in Iowa
*Our packing event for "Feed My Starving Children" is this week

...and on and on. Life certainly doesn't seem to hit the "pause" button very often.  However, I did read a great quote from Blanchard's book "The servant leader." 

"One of the quickest ways you can tell the difference between a servant leader and a self-serving leader is how they handle feedback, because one of the biggest fears that self-serving leaders have is to lose their position.  Self-serving leaders pend most of their time protecting their status.  If you give them feedback, how do they usually respond?  Negatively.  They think your feedback means that you don't want their leadership anymore."

 Ow!  If you know our church, we are passionate about helping people become servants with no strings attached.  When I read this, it made me ask, "How do I typically respond to feedback?"  Am I defensive or do I truly listen? 

How do you respond?  If this is one of the tests of a servant leader, do you pass? 

My name is Brian and I am a servant.

Bill Hybles

It's 4:00 am and I'm already up and getting ready.  Today, my friend Jamie Johnson and I are traveling down to Chicago for a meeting with Bill Hybels.  He's the Senior Pastor of Willow Creek Community Church and he's been one of my long distance mentors since 1998.

Through his monthly leadership course, he has taught me more leadership lessons than any other person.  So much of what I have learned about leadership is rooted in him.  I am so excited about going!  I've been told there will only be 15 people in the room.  Can't wait!

Hey! Be quiet!

I saw this list of wise sayings on silence:

- Josh Billings, “Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.”
- Silence is the wisest of replies.
- There are three times when you should never say anything important to a person: when he is tired, when he is angry, and when he has just made a mistake.
- Let thy speech be better than silence, or be silent.
- Alexander Pope (English poet), “Be silent always when you doubt your sense."
- Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Calvin Coolidge, “I have never been hurt by anything I didn’t say.”

These sayings line up with the wisdom of Proverbs: 

Proverbs 17:28 Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent...

Years ago, I used to attend a meeting for Pastors in the city I lived in. For some reason, I decided to try this out.  I let them talk and talk and I never said one word (yes, I know that's hard to believe but it's true).  I did it intentionally just to see what would happen.  I kept attending this meeting and one day, one of those men said, "Let's hear what Brian has to say on this.  He just always seems so wise."  I almost burst out laughing!  I had never said a thing, but my silence made me seem wise.  Of course, once I started talking, that appearance of wisdom vanished :)

It's just like someone once said, "Better to keep  your mouth closed and appear foolish than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." 

Try silence today and see what happens. Just listen.  And listen with the idea of learning what you can from the people around you.